Let’s face it: Traveling isn’t always glamorous. Okay, the destination may be of your dreams, but the trip there? That can be an eternity encased in stale airplane air, wailing babies, and leg cramps. No matter if you’re stuck on a ten-hour flight with a snorer, waiting out a six-hour layover in a crummy terminal, or sliding over the world’s bumpiest bus ride on Peru’s mountains, this is true of all travelers: You possess something – anything – to occupy yourself while you go bonkers.
Good news? There are tons of absurd, quirky, and downright hilarious ways to actually enjoy travel time. Yes, yes, we’re talking about doing something other than scrolling Instagram for the 42nd time or pretending to read that book you’ve restarted three times. Here’s some things to do when it feels like time has come to a screeching halt and you’re one airport announcement away from losing your marbles.
Create a false backstory for everyone around you
Peoples-watching is a time-honored travel tradition in and of itself, but let’s add some fuel to the fire. Look around you. That red trench-coat woman? International art thief in witness protection, obviously. The guy with two phones and a headset? CIA. That couple whispering and giggling in the back? Cooking up a heist, no doubt.
Assign elaborate, soap-operatic backstories to the other travelers. Bonus points if you take notes and grade them on likelihood of alien abduction. I swear, you’ll be playing this game for hours – and if you have a travel partner, this game is the stuff of legend.
Get inside the world of online casinos (responsibly, of course)
Okay, listen: Online casinos are kinda perfect for wasting time and giving your brain a little adrenaline rush. You’re stuck waiting anyway, so why not pretend you’re James Bond at Monaco on a terrible airport cappuccino? There are a few hundred applications where you can play slots, blackjack, roulette, or even online poker with real people. You can use websites to find exclusive deals and no deposit bonuses US to opt your online casino game.
Online casinos are risk and entertainment, and yeah, it can be enjoyable for danger’s sake – but responsibly. Allocate a small budget, and approach it with the same mindset as you would spending the cost of a movie ticket. Don’t pursue losses. You’re not funding your next holiday here – you’re simply keeping yourself entertained from point A to point B. It adds a little frisson to an otherwise drab wait and, occasionally, a paltry amount of cash to your holiday allowance (if luck is with you).
The great snack taste test
Airports and gas stations are like weird little food theme parks. Ever wonder what seaweed-flavored chips actually taste like? Or what’s really in that mysterious snack labeled “pork floss bun”? Now’s the time to find out.
Turn your flight time into a world snack odyssey. Buy one snack you’ve never tried (or several, if you’re feeling adventurous) and score them on the edibility scale from “pleasantly edible” to “why do I taste remorse?” Not only does it fill time, but it also makes for great Instagram material, and perhaps a slight stomach ache, but we risk it for the fun of it too.
Make a travel-themed playlist – but with ridiculously strict rules
Here’s how you play: Make a playlist for your trip, but subject to ridiculously strict, self-imposed rules. For example: Only songs released in 2006. Only songs that mention weather. Only songs you’d be embarrassed to admit you love.
Then force yourself to listen to it. You’ll laugh, you’ll cringe, you’ll gain a new appreciation for bangers that have been overlooked. And it’s also great to chat if you’re road-tripping with someone. (“Wait, you put Nickelback on here?! Are we even friends?”)
Host a mini game show on your phone
There are scores of trivia, quiz, and word games you can play by yourself or with friends on the go. But don’t just answer questions sorta loosely, go full hog game show host. Get out your inner best dramatic voice. Take an empty water bottle and hold it up like a microphone. Drawl between questions as if building suspense for a TV viewing audience.
Abruptly, you’re not bored in seat 27B – you’re the host of Wheel of Brainpower: Layover Edition.
Build a travel bucket list based on Random Internet Generators
There’s something weirdly pleasing about leaving randomizers to decide where you’ll travel next. Experiment with an online “random country picker,” then construct a pretend trip there. Look into flights, things to do, food, and quirky traditions. You might never actually go there… but maybe you will.
And if you do this regularly enough, you’ll have a laugh-out-loud, and surprisingly well-informed, travel wish list that’s anything but dull.
Write a mock Yelp review of the airport/bus station
“Had the charm of an eerie mall food court and Wi-Fi as strong as a kitten just born. 3/5 stars – would cry here again.”
Coming up with fake, satirical Yelp or TripAdvisor reviews of where you actually are is an excellent time-waster. Bonus: It’s a writing exercise and a space to complain about that $14 sandwich that tasted so cardboard-y.
Last thoughts: Travel time doesn’t have to be dead time
Long-distance travel will never disappear, but that doesn’t imply it can’t be great. From borrowed words to virtual roulette, the journey from takeoff to touchdown can be some of the most bizarre and hilarious moments of your trip.
So, the next time you’re stuck in Gate 47 waiting for the third hour with a half-dead phone and dubious snacks, try one of these absurd, but amazingly efficient, time-killers. You may actually look forward to the downtime. Almost.
